


Tsunago te to te (Hand in hand)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Established Relationship, Fights, Love, M/M, Rejection, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 08:11:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15263157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Yabu wished he hadn’t made him angry, but he couldn’t have helped it.When the younger had gotten close and had grabbed his hand, he backed off out of instinct, automatically, way too used to avoid any contact with him.And Kei had gotten mad, as it was obvious.





	Tsunago te to te (Hand in hand)

Yabu wished he hadn’t made him angry, but he couldn’t have helped it.

When the younger had gotten close and had grabbed his hand, he backed off out of instinct, automatically, way too used to avoid any contact with him.

And Kei had gotten mad, as it was obvious.

During the years they had reached a pretty stable balance when it concerned public contacts, but there were little things to which Inoo had never been able to renounce.

Like holding his hand. He had always said it relaxed him, that it made him feel at ease, that it was something managing to calm him, no matter the circumstance.

And Kota had gotten used, somehow, to that necessity.

He always had an excuse ready, he always tried to let it look like a gesture deriving from mere friendship, but he had never denied to hold his hand when the younger got close to him with that precise intention.

Now Kei was sitting on a couch in the green room, waiting to start filming for Shokura.

Yabu looked at the time; it was eleven sharp, and his boyfriend hadn't been talking to him for an hour.

He bit his lip, sighing slightly before getting close to him, taking light steps.

Chinen, sitting next to Inoo, raised his eyes on Yabu and seemed to read the situation well; he got up, patting the elder’s shoulder, and he got away.

But Kota didn’t want to argue, not in front of all the others.

“Kei...” he murmured, nodding toward the door.

The other licked his lower lip, arching his eyebrows.

Then, keeping his eyes as cold and detached as he could, he went out with him, heading toward an empty room on the same hallway, hoping that it was far enough from unwanted attentions.

“What?” he asked, showing straight away how little willing he was to compromise.

He leant against the table in the middle of the room, crossing his arms and waiting.

Kota got closer, sighing, stretching out a hand to take Kei’s, not surprised at all when the younger pushed him away.

“Kei...” he whined, while the other scoffed.

“What, now you want to hold my hand, Yabu?” the elder took the blow, aware of how bad it was for him to use his last name. “It makes sense, after all. We wouldn’t want for anyone to see me and you touching, right? There’s no one here, go ahead and take my hand.” he said, sarcastic.

Kota lowered his eyes, pulling his arm back.

“I'm sorry, Kei. It wasn’t on purpose, I swear. It was... instinctive. I shouldn’t have.”

Kei started pacing throughout the room, thinking.

“I hate when you’re like this, Kota. I’ve compromised for you, I’ve accepted to stand aside, I’ve accepted your conditions, I’ve accepted to avoid showing anything that could be misunderstood, even things that should be completely normal. And I'm tired of feeling like this, as if everything I did was wrong, as...” he bit his lip, sighing. “As if loving was a reason for guilt.” he murmured in the end, stopping in the middle of the room, as if he didn’t feel like moving anymore.

Kota felt a sharp pain in his chest at those words, and he felt guilty as he had never before.

He went behind him, hugging him and holding him tight, resting his forehead against his nape and breathing in deeply.

“I know how I make you feel. I know I’m over-cautious, but...” he was about to bring up his usual speech about safety and doing it for him as well, but he knew how little effective it would've been, so he chose to be less rational and more emotive. “But it’s never been my intention to make you feel as if loving me made you guilty of something. I love you just as much as you love me, Kei, and I'm sorry I can't show it, I'm sorry I make mistakes over mistakes, when all I want is for you to understand how I feel. I shouldn’t have pulled away today, and I'm sorry I did, but this doesn’t change what I feel, and you should know that.” he said, in a rush, while he kept holding him, wishing he didn’t have to let him go.

The younger kept still for a short while longer, then he pushed back into that hold, letting his back press against his boyfriend’s chest, seemingly less angry than he was before.

Yabu rest his chin on his shoulder, and then he tried again to take his hand.

This time Kei didn’t pull away, and he let the elder intertwine their fingers together, holding it tight; he held it back, letting his nervousness melt down.

“Let’s go back?” Yabu murmured, pulling away without letting go of his hand.

Kei stared at their fingers, most likely wondering if the elder meant to go back holding his hand, then he smiled to him.

“I love you, Ko. And... and I know you love me as well, and that you don’t do it on purpose.” he admitted, grimacing.

Kota shook his head, aware of how much the younger hated to say he was right.

They got out of the room and walked toward the green room, still hand in hand, and Kei held on to it as if he didn’t want to let it go anymore.

“Ko?” he stopped, close to the door. “Promise me something? When we’re going to be old, and no one is going to care anymore about what we do... just keep walking holding my hand, okay?” he asked, and Yabu thought he saw him blush a little.

He chuckled nervously, quickly bringing the younger’s hand to his lips and softly kissing it, then he nodded.

“I promise, Kei. I won’t let it go, not now nor ever. You have my word.” he reassured him, then he walked inside the room with him.

They sat back on the couch, under the curious and vaguely amused stares of the others, but Kota chose not to care.

Kei’s happiness and the smile on his face were worth it.


End file.
